“Today morning I was waiting to submit some papers when a man, also waiting there, asked me…”

That was the L&M talking to me. I was only paying half attention to him, more involved in moving alphabets this way and that in the word game I was playing.

“… if Madam hadn’t come too.”

I looked up then, forgetting the game. Who was it asking about me? I was now more curious than the proverbial cat.

“I told him you have already submitted your papers online, so didn’t have to be there.” the L&M continued.

The man turned out to be an employee of the bank in the neighbourhood where I am a customer. Apparently he had noticed the L&M and me when we went there to open an account some months back. Since I prefer to do online banking and that had been the sole time I had stepped into the building, I was amazed that he remembered us.

“And then he asked me,” the L&M continued, “Where does Madam work?’”

Uh ho. There it is. The Working Woman tag that seems follow me around wherever I go.

My life in the broadest sense can be divided into two sections. The early period when I was considered a mere ‘child’ to be pushed around, mind you even with two children of her own. You wouldn’t know how humiliating it is to be asked to vacate a seat for someone supposedly ‘older’ when you yourself are precisely that older person for whom that seat should have been rightfully vacated in the first place. True story. How was it my fault my hair hadn’t yet turned grey?

The latter period (the still ongoing one) is when people ask me ‘Where Do You Work?’ (Well there was a brief period of time when both sections intersected, but we’ll not go into that now) The reasons people, absolute strangers to me, cite for asking me this question range from ‘You are traveling alone!’ to ‘You speak English!’ Well… umm. Guilty as charged. But still not a Working Woman, just a ‘lowly’ homemaker who doesn’t get a pay check on the first day of every month.

Don’t get me wrong. Personally I don’t believe I am ‘lowly’ for the work I do managing my own home. But some women who “work” outside their homes think so, and have made it a point to tell me so too. One very obnoxious lady went so far as to tell me homemakers cannot make intelligent conversation in company. They, according to her, can only talk about pots and pans, the absconding maid, recipes, their children and such. Mind you, I personally don’t consider any of that ‘lowly’. Every work has a place in the scheme of things and needs to be respected as such.

What I can tell you with certainty is that as far as I am concerned, I have found both ‘working women’ and homemakers boring conversationalists for their lack of interest in many things (the repertoire is too wide) I myself am interested in. This applies to men too, ALL of them since they don’t seem to have any working and non-working division among them. Talking non-stop politics and sports, and dissecting the same with a we-know-best attitude, in too loud tones, does not make anyone interesting.

Be that as it may…

Some women who ‘work’ also think that they are superior to homemakers like me because they do two jobs, the office job and also the one on the home front. Umm…. Well, my house help does four jobs, plus she doesn’t think poorly of me. So in my book that’s more points for her than to these humbugs.

Have I digressed? I think I have, and left my story far behind in some paragraph way to the top. So let’s get back, to the L&M, and the man who wanted to know ‘where Madam worked’. The L&M, no prizes for guessing here, gave him the conventional answer. She’s not working anywhere. The man probably remembering my salt and pepper head, rephrased his question. The L&M continued:

“He asked me, ‘Where HAD Madam worked?’”

I burst out laughing on hearing this. It looked as if the man had no doubt at all that I had worked somewhere at some point of my life. Believe me, he is not the first to persevere with this line of questioning. My face screams ‘duffer’ to my extended family, but at the same time, to outsiders, it announces ‘Working Woman’ in capital letters. The irony!

To cut a long story short, the L&M kindly disabused the man of his firm belief of ‘Madam’s working status’ by stating that I have always been a homemaker. That must have left the man with more questions than before, I am sure. 😉

©️ Shail Mohan 2025